zack killcreas

Expectations

Lately, I've given a lot of thought to the word "expectation" and even "expectations" in general.  Expectations when presented before someone can be a disastrous encounter if not presented with certain understanding.  Unknowingly [many times] we place expectations on people for no reason at all other than for self assurance or self acclimation.  I'm sure I am just as guilty as the rest of you all.  I know I will make a statement to someone "expecting" them to respond a certain way... And when [If] they respond differently than I expected, I blame them for some sort of fault.  For instance lets look at it from this view -- at my current job, I'm known as "happy teacher".  The only way I was granted such a "title" was because everyday when I would show up for work, I spoke to everyone; front desk workers, the administrators, ALL of the other teachers... literally everyone I came in contact with [And I tried to keep a good attitude about the work place even when things weren't so great].  One day a week or so ago I walked in and just sat down at my desk.  I didn't say anything to anyone really, just smiled and begin lesson plans.  A coworker said, "Hello Zack" in which I replied, "Hi".  Nothing more, nothing less... and they immediately ask, "What's wrong?" Nothing was wrong, but just because I had not made a "grand entrance" greeting everyone or replied the way they expected me to, something was obviously wrong.  It was that incident that led me to thinking about expectations... What people expect of me and what I expect of others.  Expectations can have both positive and negative ramifications, depending upon the lens one chooses to peak through.  Growing up in a conservative southern Christian family, many things are "expected" of me.  Not all are negative things [if any at all are] but I often question the reason why such things are expected of me just because I was raised a certain way in a particular place in North America.  I even wonder the reason we expect others to respond a certain way when we hear they grew up with certain beliefs or from certain locations.  Why is it that our minds continue to work in such a manner?  I'm currently in Korea and Koreans have two types of food, [as they would say] spicy and very spicy.  Just because I'm from America they seem to automatically think I will not like spicy food, thus expecting me to ask for something "not so spicy".  Or a question I'm asked numerous times is, "Do you have a gun?"  It's a funny question I admit, but they expect all Americans to carry guns [or to at least own a gun], especially black people.  I know most of this portion of expectancy is influenced from Hollywood [Thanks Hollywood for making us appear so violent, but yet glamorous all within a pleasant 90 minutes] which can be taken with a grain of salt.  Or how about when we don't meet the expectations of those close to us; friends, family, etc?  Many times it puts strains on friendships, causes wedges to be placed between family members and often times causes major destruction of relationships with those once dear to us.  I guess what I'm trying to get at with this entire ramble is perhaps we could take a step back, rethink the things we expect of people and perhaps ask the questions, "What is right to expect of him/her?" or "Why should I expect this/that from him/her?"  I know I've been challenged within my own journey to look at this issue and try to figure out an appropriate balance with it all...

Part of Life's Trek

The past few weeks of life's journey has been rough; perhaps you can relate.  The rush of the Christmas holidays leading right into the tiresome night(s) of New Year celebrations leave most of us craving rest.  I currently find myself back in Korea getting use to a new job, a new apartment, co-teachers, etc not to mention just getting over the holiday craze.  The first few weeks of this year have been hectic.  The weather has been unusually cold, but then the previous two days the weather was unusually warm, all to be concluded today with constant rain... talk about a mix!  Things with work have been normal [chaotically unorganized] and this week we are giving mid-term test.  We were told last week that we would be giving test this week, but with little to no guidance with instructions with what we would be required to do.  The other foreign co-teacher in the same office as I finds it quite frustrating at times as its drastically different from the norm of the states; I would concur.  Today [at work] I have had some time to just sit in the office [twiddling my thumbs].  With "free time" to spare, I've given time to reflect on life [thus far in 2010] and give thought to future plans.  Many times I find myself wishing things were different and wondering why things aren't different -- I mean we do have the right to make choices, correct?  However true the statement may be, I often find myself being confined by circumstances of past choices.  As frustrating as it is we must understand that its all a part of life's journey... And we must continue trekking on.  We will greet our final destination at some part of the journey.

Reminder...

"blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
he is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when the heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit."

the heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
"I the Lord search the heart
and test the mind,
to give every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds."

(jeremiah 17:7-10.)

Hello Two Thousand and Ten

Hello 2010::

Its good to meet you.  I know its early in our meeting, but I will let you know upfront that I have huge expectations for you... And I dare not back down from them!  I am only encouraged by your presence and can only dream of what you might have in store for me this year.  I promise to give you my best at all times.  I'll be looking forward to many memories with you.

Embracing Our Journey,

Zack 

Last Day of 2009

Dear 2009::

Greetings! This will be the last time I will have the chance to write to you.  We have shared many memories together this past year; many I will never forget.  I can remember meeting you almost 365 days ago on the streets of Kyungsung in Busan, South Korea with many other foreigners and Koreans.  And I remember seeing your first sunrise on the beach of Gwangalli with the celebrations of many others welcoming you.  Wow, does time ever go by so quickly? 

Today is the last day of your year...  and most refer to this day as New Year's Eve.  New Year's Eve has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It's a time to reflect on the changes we want [or need] to make and resolve to follow through on those changes.

Thank you for such an amazing year and for the numerous lessons learned.  I hope I have given you my best and I look forward to greeting the next year to come.  Goodbye 2009!

Small Change Adds Up

I stumbled upon an article in the JoongAng Daily [an online Korean news source] about Asiana Airlines flight attendants organizing donations in different currencies yesterday given by foreign passengers in a drive to benefit Unicef. The proceeds from the campaign are expected to exceed 4.7 billion won ($4 million) this year.  The article was relatively simple in thought, but massive in effect.

After reading the headline of the article, I began thinking about the word "change".  In the context it refers to currency, but I begin thinking more along the lines of life, the day to day journey... "Small change adds up"... With the end of the year rapidly approaching and with many New Year's resolutions "right around the corner", I wonder what small changes people will [attempt to] make in their lives.  Looking back over the past year, I ponder what change has taken place [minimal or not] that has added up and the effect it has had on myself.  Then to continue in this thought, what "change" [both positive and negative] has taken place that has effected others around me.  These words continuously echo in my ears... "small change adds up"! 

Thus, I pose the questions -- What things have you changed lately?  What "small change" are you making in life currently that will eventually "add up" to more than expected?  What small changes have you made that are effecting others in positive and negative ways?

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!  I hope this day finds you doing well, spending time with friends and family... or for some of us, just random foreigners gathered together in Korea.  Today I woke up surrounded by a number of other foreigners with whom I spent Christmas Eve with playing games and enjoying the company of each another.  There is something about spending this time of the year with people... family, friends, acquaintances, etc. that helps "make the season" special.  Wherever you are found in the world today, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas day with those near and dear.  Cheers!

Happy Birthday Krystal

Today is my older sister's birthday.

Happy Birthday Krystal!!!

Welcome Winter

Today officially marks the first day of the 2009-2010 winter season although it has already been pretty cold here in Busan.  As I type, it is currently in the low 30's F [-1 to 2 degrees celsius].  I enjoy the winter season especially the Christmas holiday.  Most of the stores have their decorations up... lights, trees, and sales are EVERYWHERE.  It would be shameful to neglect the fact that there are insane shoppers [normal people any other time of the year] running rampant through the streets!  I love seeing the different hats and mittens that the Koreans so proudly wear to keep warm... at least I hope they are wearing them to stay warm and not as some sort of fashion statement.  You people should really see some of these things.  Perhaps I'll post some pictures of some in the coming days.  All in all, I'm glad winter is here, but hopefully she will not bring with her a dreadful time.  Happy Holidays everyone...

O Come All Ye Faithful

This week the Christmas carol "O Come All Ye Faithful" has been  stuck in my head.  The text to the Carol O Come All Ye Faithful was originally written in Latin (Adeste Fideles) and was intended to be a hymn, it is attributed to John Wade, an Englishman. The music to O Come All Ye Faithful was composed by fellow Englishman John Reading in the early 1700s. The tune was first published in a collection known as "Cantus Diversi" in 1751. In 1841 Rev. Frederick Oakley is reputed to have worked on the familiar translation of O Come All Ye Faithful which replaced the older Latin lyrics "Adeste Fideles".  If you have a chance, allow for some time to have a listen and read the lyrics. 

O Come All Ye Faithful
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him,
Born the King of Angels;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

O Sing, choirs of angels,
Sing in exultation,
Sing all that hear in heaven God's holy word.
Give to our Father glory in the Highest;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

All Hail! Lord, we greet Thee,
Born this happy morning,
O Jesus! for evermore be Thy name adored.
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord. 

Information on the carol